How to Find the Truth

Ten Traits of a Truth Teller by Angela J. Kaufman

 The progression From a Lie to the Truth   

“The truth will ouch.”
– Arnold H. Glasow

How to find the truth

Why do we get confused when we tell the truth? Is it because at first, it may cause pain, like Glasow states “truth will ouch”?  Perhaps later we realize truths intent is actually to heal? Rick Joyner explains in his book more of this pain and truth concept: "The pure truth, spoken in pure love, will always attract.  You will remember the pain you feel here, and it will help you through the rest of your life.  Pain is good; it shows you where there is a problem. God’s truth often brings pain as it highlights a problem that we have, but His truth will always show us the way to freedom, too. When you know this you will even begin to rejoice in your trials, which are all allowed to keep you on the path of life.”

In Part I of this book we discussed three basic steps that can take us from truth to a complete lie. First, a truth is told. Second, a truth and a lie are told at the same time. Third, an outright lie is told as truth.  Let’s see if it is reversible. Unfortunately, there aren’t just three easy steps in reversing the betrayal of a lie. Just as regaining someone’s trust can take  at least twice as long than it took to break the confidence in the first place, so does searching for the truth. In fact, much of it has to do with a person’s willingness to hear the truth.  For example, if we tell someone to lose weight because they are obese, it is highly unlikely they will do so.  On the other hand, if they are searching for a solution to their weight and health issues themselves, they will readily embrace the truth that they need to lose weight.

First, if we want someone to see the truth then we have to be committed to the truth ourselves.  However, it may take more people than just you to complete the mission of having people see the truth.  What I mean by this is that others have to be committed to sharing the truth in whatever situation you find yourself in. Think of your own life.  How many times or how many people have to tell us the same thing before it starts sinking in our thick skulls?  This is where repetition needs to occur. The analogy of planting a seed comes to mind.  We must take every opportunity to keep speaking the truth, to keep planting the seeds over and over and over again.  This part of the process may take years. We need to be aware that in this stage a person might question you and those who speak the truth, they may question the validity of what you are saying and what you are showing.  They might not believe you and may question your motives, your friendship and your loyalty. 

Any counselor or therapist knows that repetition in sessions is important. Similarly, any teacher will tell you repetition is important to learning. Often it is the effect of many people in many different situations saying the same thing in different ways that eventually gets through our thick heads. It is imperative that we continue the repetition and that we must not stop telling the truth.

If a little seed of truth does slip in, the next stage in truth telling is even harder. Now the person who heard the truth has a choice. Do I begin to act on what I’ve learned? The struggle to make a change has begun and truth is the catalyst for change. At this point, complications may begin to appear due to the emotions tied to an event or person. The depth of emotional investment can reduce the possibility of changing behavior. For example, consider what abuse does to the emotions of a couple.  It may seem ridiculous that a spouse won’t leave an abusive situation, but we must realize the power of those emotional ties.

The emotional break may not come until or unless the person can see how bad the situation is. Often that comes at the cost of seeing the other person as evil. This conclusion of course, takes us down another road of being able to see a person’s behavior as evil and typically not the person, himself or herself, as evil.  I purposely say that ”typically” people are not evil, but I hope you will be able to recognize when the extremes do occur. Some of you may already realize that all of this digging for truth may lead to the topic of forgiveness.  We will discuss the forgiveness process in the chapters ahead.